Have been crazy stressed lately. Simple things, little things triggering my anxiety. Thought I'll seek counseling. Pay big bucks to pour my heart out to a shrink. Maybe I'll get strong prescription meds for anxiety. But what will I pour out? That got me thinking. What is the root cause of this anxiety? "Thinking" made me think of alternate ways of stress relief. Like meditation. I looked for monasteries. Yoga centers for meditation. And then I came across Unity Center of Walnut Creek, just 10 mins walk from home. It's a spiritual center embracing all cultures and religions. I came to check out the place. But was too shy as usual to go in and inquire.More on that later, as I explore further. By the way, I have also been reading up on the 7 chakras of the body, aligned with the 7 main glands -- pineal, pituitary, thyroid, thymus, gonad (is that a gland?), and adrenal. This website seems good: chakraenergy.com
Unity Center of Walnut Creek
Let's get back to what's been bugging me.
I am someone who prefers to be by myself. Lazy by nature. I get agitated too quickly and prefer a stress-free environment to thrive and prosper. Stress-free also means having plenty of time to nurture my spirit. Well, that's one of the main problems. I'm always short on time. I have 2 young kids. And a house. I don't have time for anything related to personal development. Like gym or meditation. I'm scurrying around like a rat. Headless chicken, more likely. This is leading to stress. I like being independent and by myself. No strings or attachments. Because I'm scared of getting attached and losing the item I'm attached to. That's just my innate nature. So, now that I have a husband and 2 children I fear losing, on top of parents and sibling, I feel up to neck with fear...and thus anxiety. I figured I love my 2nd child. I bonded with her. She's just adorable. Unlike the first one, I like spending time with the second one a lot more. I'm finally willing to be a mommy to a child of mine. But I realize I also have to work full time to pay the bills. And thus I cannot be home enough to be with the baby. This is tearing me up too. I constantly fear for her well being, and feel a helplessness thinking that I have to leave her in the care of a stranger lady, who, due to a moment's inattentiveness may end up harming my child gravely. How do I get past that stress? And I realize this feeling is acting as a distraction at work too. Result: I'm worrying about home when I'm at work. And I'm worrying about the work I have to do, when I'm home. It's eating away at my competence at my job. Making me shaky and miserable and cranky at the workplace. Not too mention stressed and less productive. What's the solution? Maybe meditation. And an attempt to effectively compartmentalize my life: 8 hours of solid focus on the job, knowing that there isn't much I can do about home once I step out of the house. Get productive and good at work, and then I can carve out solid time with the family, without having to worry about pending workload. Can be done, right? I'll give unity center and chakra theory...and maybe other stray meditation centers a spin and write about improvements, if I feel any.